Transvestite Model, Escort,
Companion & Fitness Mentor
Review #2 - Xlube
The Best of the Best – your search is finally over! This is the one.
This review features simply the best sexual lubricant out there. Both in terms of availability, ease of preparation, user experience and of course, value for money.
Highlights
• Approximately 50 to 100 times cheaper than ‘brand name’ off the shelf lube!
• Super-simple preparation and storage.
• Colourless, odourless, non-greasy or staining. No mess, no stress.
• Super long-lasting, super-slippery, super everything basically.
This lube has been something of a revelation to me. I have heard of it many times before but for some reason I never bothered investigating it until a few weeks ago. My bad indeed. I guess I thought I was experienced enough to know better. No so it would appear. Just shows you live and learn, and learn and learn….
As an enthusiastic player with various toys, dildos (ranging from average to f**cking huge), my awesome ShockSpot fuck-machine (next review) and a penchant for fisting – self and with a partner- I’ve always taken an interest in trying various different lubes. I’ve bought all sorts before, from ‘official’ products actually sold as personal lubricants to all sorts of creams, potions, various online DIY recipes, and I’ve even ordered industrial chemicals in my search for the ultimate lubricant!
Obviously, there are the usual ‘brand leaders’ available from your average supermarket, the likes of Durex, KY, etc but these are expensive items and come in the tiniest of packages. Fair enough if you are just needing a bit of extra ‘marital help’ but if you are wanting to get serious with toys or fisting then the quantities you need will require re-mortgaging the family home or a lottery win; and you’ll get some odd looks at the checkout when you drop 10 bottles on the counter! (A serious self-fisting session might require several 100ml of lube.) Hence, I finally pulled my finger out and ordered a bottle of Xlube.
Xlube is widely available via mail order direct from their website, Amazon, eBay etc .just depending what country you’re in. I ordered mine from eBay as the delivery was quicker that way, and cheaper. It’s priced anywhere between £20 - £25 depending where you order, plus delivery. Might sound expensive but then factor in that each bottle will make ’20 +’ litres and you suddenly realise what a bargain that actually is. Quick bit of maths gives a cost of about £1 to £1.50 per litre when made up according to the instructions. Compare that to around £100 per litre for a leading brand name product on a supermarket shelf.
I must admit to being slightly surprised by how small the bottle was when it arrived. Not sure why but I was expecting something a bit bigger. Guess the bottle size is irrelevant though as that is just the powder base anyway.
Mixing up the lube is simplicity itself so I won’t go into it here. All you need is a reasonably large bottle with a screw cap (I would recommend around 750ml to 1 litre if you’re making up 500ml of Xlube) and then watch the video on their website. Or read the instructions if you are old-school – like me. With experience you can adjust the quantities to get the mixture just how you like it. I’ll warn you though, when you first mix it and shake it, it will appear to be far too thin – don’t be tempted to put more powder in, it will soon thicken up. Trust me.
After leaving it for the recommended two hours it really is an extraordinary consistency. Kind of thick and ‘gloopy’ and comes out in a never-ending stream - you actually have to almost cut it with a knife to stop it syphoning itself out of the bottle. Once it starts flowing it’s like lava streaming down from a volcano, and almost as unstoppable. Colourless and odourless it is very pleasant to handle and ‘work’ with – not sure work is the right word here. If it is, you’re missing the whole point of the activity!
And now I’m sure you actually, finally, want to know how good it is?? Well, it is quite simply the best lube I have ever used, bar none. It glides on, in, all over – wherever and whatever you want to do with it, it just works, perfectly.
It does not get absorbed into the skin and dry out like many water-based lubes but stays super slippery, but also without creating a mess. As it somehow, miraculously manages to be thick and viscous but super-slippy at the same time, it does not drip all over the place making a mess but stays exactly where you want it.
Cleaning up after is simple although it does take a bit of washing off with warm water as it is so clingy but it’s not in any way greasy or oily so does not stain or smell. Just a quick shower is all that is required – and let’s face it you probably should anyway.
So in summary, you can now relax and stop searching for the ultimate lubricant – you have found it. Wishing many hours of pleasure doing whatever you do with whoever you do with.
And remember, Stay Slippy.